When I was pregnant with my first child, there were no expectations. I hoped the baby would be healthy and I’d be able to carry it to full term. When life blessed me with a beautiful almost-nine pound morsel of goodness and joy, I was over the moon! Parenting was a fabulous experience and I threw myself into it with utter devotion and wholehearted enthusiasm.
Having a sibling of our own, hubby and I instinctively knew that we would never raise our son to be a single child. We hoped to have our children as close together as possible, praying they would grow up close, as friends. We conceived a few months later and I fervently hoped that I would have a baby girl, to complete the family picture. I dreamed of pink dresses and satin sashes, doll houses and little hair clips. I lived in a pink, fluffy, rosy haze, dreaming of make-believe tea parties and stuffed toys littered all over the house. That dream lasted until our doctor revealed that we were going to have another boy. I am truly ashamed to say, I cried when she gave us the news. At that time, it seemed like my dreams had been crushed by an unknown power and I felt helpless. I tried to control my emotions, knowing they were scaring my toddler and amusing my gynecologist. My ever-practical husband reminded me ,”We should be thankful for a healthy, happy baby. It doesn’t matter whether its a boy or a girl”.
It’s been almost a decade since I cried at that examination table. My boys are my pride and joy. They’ve grown up to be buddies as we hoped they would. Two years apart, they are inseparable, enjoying common interests, sharing jokes as well as stories and playing games that they both enjoy. As boys often do, they test each other’s limits and patience. When the world confronts them, they fight back as a team. Our home is always brighter, happier and livelier when the two of them are around.
I admit I miss the joys of dressing up a little angel, but barely miss anything else. My boys are attentive, kind and empathetic. When I catch a cold or feel unwell, they fuss over me – bringing me food, water and books to read. When hubby and I have an argument, they refuse to be drawn in, always trying to mediate and smooth ruffled feathers. Of late, our relationship has blossomed and I often find myself asking for their opinion, on matters that I usually discuss with close friends. My 10 year old is able to gauge a change in my temperament and refuses to give up unless I volunteer the reasons for my distress. My 8 year old likes to be cuddled and kissed and offers the most therapeutic hugs! With these two around, I am always at peace, even in the midst of all their energetic mayhem. Their loud laughter, constant banter, occasional arguments and irresistible charm makes my life sweeter and more meaningful.
Hubby was right. All that matters now, is that our boys are happy and healthy.
Lesson Learnt: Our happiness does not always depend on getting what we want. Sometimes, it also depends on getting what we need. I wanted to have a daughter but mistress fate knew that I needed my boys more!